An Ungoverned World Page 5
Cosmo scrambled around to the cockpit. Looking behind him, he saw the staggered ranks of people marching toward him like an inexorable force. Cosmo shook his head and muttered under his breath. He pushed himself up on a thick trunk of a tree. He wrapped his arms and thighs around it then shimmied up toward the cockpit.
The fallen tree had smashed the front windshield. Shards of glass jutted out. There was a huge hole where the glass panes had been pulled out, presumably to remove the bodies of the pilots. The seats were empty. The equipment was dormant. It was a shame to see such a powerful and expensive piece of technology reduced to nothing but scrap metal.
Cosmo didn't know what he was looking for, but in his blind panic this was the only course that seemed rational. There had to be something, anything that would help him figure this out. His clothes tore on the shards of glass by the tree. His skin scraped against the rough bark. Sweat now was dripping from his forehead. He pushed himself into the cockpit, landing with a thud. The plane groaned under the weight of the impact. He rummaged all around the cockpit, but there was nothing there. He opened every compartment, hoping there would be a log book or something, but there was nothing. Desperately he searched. He hoped. He flung open the cockpit door, which could be opened with a handle from this side and began rummaging through the plane again. The farther he got the more he started realizing he wasn't going to find what he was looking for. Nick and Tanya weren't going to believe him until it was too late.
When he left the plane, the freaks were all around him, staring at him. Cosmo's shoulders started to sag. There was no way out.
“Why are you running?”
“We just want you to be one of us.”
“Be one with us.”
“Be a part of the future.”
“Make a better future.”
Cosmo shook his head. They all were standing in front of him. “I don't understand. How can you build a better future? I don't want to be in a place with you freaks!”
“You will understand soon.”
Cosmo didn't understand what they meant by that. He looked around frantically, tried peering beyond them to spot any trace of Nick or Tanya, but they were nowhere to be seen. Had they been captured too or were they out there? What would they think about Cosmo being taken? Would they even care after what he had done?
Suddenly, Cosmo realized how alone he was. He was without allies. Raising his arms to fight he was ready to stand until his last breath, but the freaks all came up to him, eyes wide and staring at him, into his soul. When he went to punch them, his arm was being held back. He went to kick, but his leg dragged. Everything was pinned down. The only thing Cosmo had left to do was shout and scream for help. Even though he was alone. Even though he had hurt Tanya's feelings. Even though Nick was angry with him. Yet, as he went to yell he felt a hand clamp down on his mouth, suffocating him. His eyes frantically moved from side to side, imploring them to have mercy. He struggled with every ounce of his strength, but it was not enough when faced with the freaks’ sheer numbers. Now he knew it wasn't enough to be alone. He needed help. It was too late.
The sky disappeared from his view, replaced by the faces that were staring down at him. He was dragged to the ground, utterly subdued. Cosmo cursed them and cursed himself for being in this situation. No matter how much he struggled he could not break free, so he stopped trying. Cosmo knew he was right. He had been vindicated. These freaks had been hiding something all along. Yet knowing he was right did not make him feel any better. He should have acted sooner.
He prayed that Nick would come to his rescue, but he was worried these freaks already had worked their magic. Cosmo already had been painted as the villain because of what happened with Tanya. It wouldn't take much for these people to turn Nick against him. No. Cosmo had to trust in Nick. That was all he had left. He was overcome by sweet surrender and heard them all murmuring around him. He wouldn't let them get away with this. Somehow Cosmo would make Nick and Tanya see the truth. He wasn't ready to die. It couldn't end like this. Not like this at all.
Chapter Seven
Tanya couldn't believe that she'd kissed Nick again. What had she been thinking? Why would a man such as that ever have gone after her? She was a wreck. A mess. Nick could have had any woman in that camp. There was Gillian, with her mature beauty, her flaming hair, her slender figure. There were others. Blondes, brunettes, raven-haired temptresses, all looking to get close to him. Not that she could blame them. She was just as bad as any of them, looking for any opportunity to be swept up into his strong arms. And was she really out of her mind? After all, unlike the other women she actually had formed a bond with Nick. He knew her...well...he thought he did. Of course, she had been lying to him just like she had been lying to everyone else ever since she had run away from home. Nick understood, though. The way he looked at her...the way he talked to her...she was a fool for believing he could have any kind of special feelings for her. She was broken. Just like her father had said.
As she stormed through the collection of fallen twigs and branches, they cracked underneath her feet. Angrily she pushed aside the thorny branches, wincing as they tore at her skin. Tanya was numb to the pain, though. Her soul burned with the agony of all the scars her father had seared into her. All those years of berating her, of telling her that she was worthless. She could see him now. Standing before her. Towering. He was a giant to her when she was a little girl. Even when she grew up he still was so tall, and so powerful. Somehow, he stayed the same even though she should have grown reach his level. She should have fought back. Running. Always running.
Her cheeks burned. She didn't even turn back to look toward Nick. She was just a stupid little girl. That's what he probably thought. She just had a crush, looking toward the first good man she saw. She'd only ever had one proper crush before. A boy at school. Marv. Wild hair, round glasses, body thin as a wire. Nobody really had paid him any attention, which was good for her. She wanted to keep it a secret. They'd shared one kiss and one kiss only, behind the school. It had lasted barely an instant. At the time she had been confused by the swirling feelings inside. Other than that, they only had exchanged letters and notes.
Until her father had found out.
She remembered how he had reacted when he'd been going through her homework, making sure that she had been a good little girl. Then he'd stormed into her room with the letter screwed up in his fist. His face had been a picture of anger. Red cheeks, bulging eyes, spittle flying from his mouth.
“What the hell is this?!” he yelled. She could feel the rage on his breath as it hit her. Tanya crawled to the wall on the side of her bed, wishing she could claw her way out to freedom. There was no freedom.
“When you're at school you should be focused on your work, not on talking to snot-nosed boys. They only have one thing on their mind, and they won't stop until they get it. Then once they do they'll drop you like a rotten piece of fruit. I don't know why you're worrying about making friends. Friends only let you down. Family, that's the stuff that will last forever. I'm all you need. I've tried making that clear to you, but you're such a stupid girl that it just doesn't stick.
“One of these days you're going to remember what I teach you. You should know it already. I've told you enough times. Maybe your grades would be better if you didn't spend your time talking with this boy. This ends now. You're my girl, and that's how you'll stay forever. No other boy is going to want you. You think he means what he says? This is all just a bunch of lies. I'm the only one who is going to tell you the truth. If you keep talking to him, you're going to regret it. I know. Trust me, I'll know. I bet you thought you could hide this from me, but you couldn't. When are you going to learn that you're stupid? I really do long for the day when you start listening to me.”
He screwed up the paper and threw it at Tanya. Then he slapped her with the back of his hand, making her cheek sting. One of her hands went to nurse her aching wound. The other went to reach for the letter. It was her salvation.
Her only connection with the outside world. Marv had told her about so many wonderful places. Places she likely never would see. Marv knew a lot. He told her about the country and the world. It was all so much bigger than the four walls of her bedroom.
However, before she could grasp that small ball of freedom her father had his big paw around it. His body rumbled and shook with a deep cackling laugh. He pulled out a lighter from his back pocket and snapped open the flame. It danced up and caught hold of the paper. Swirling and glowing orange, it curled up and turned black. Tanya screamed out in anguish as she flung herself forward, but her father kept the letter out of her reach. Her hands flailed in the air as she saw some of the words disappearing. The paper turned into ash and fell like snow upon her hands, then drifted harmlessly to the floor.
Tanya fell to her knees weeping, trying to gather up the remnants. Her father slammed the door on the way out and sneered at her, muttering to her under his breath that she was useless, and she shouldn't waste her times on dreams.
Marv had been the only boy Tanya had kissed until Nick. The two were entirely different specimens. Marv was a studious boy who knew so much about the world. He entranced Tanya with stories he had read and gave her wondrous visions of everything in the world. She had used the things he taught her to escape the drudgery of her prison. Her mind was the only escape she had from her father. She'd never spoken to Marv again since that day, though, and in fact it had been a long time since she had thought about him. When she had returned to school she had been too afraid that her father would find out to talk to Marv again. Marv had tried talking to her, tried asking her what was wrong. He'd even left her a number of unanswered letters. It had broken her heart to hurt him like that, but she dreaded to think what would happen to her if she went against her father's wishes...and what would happen to Marv.
Even now she was worried that Nick would be hurt if her father found her again. Her throat still ran dry with the fear that he was chasing her. She knew he was out there somewhere. She'd done everything she could to evade him, yet there still was a part of her that couldn’t shake the idea that the two of them were inextricably tied together. They were family, and that was stronger than anything. She wished it wasn't so, but it was true.
If only Nick loved her, then he would protect her. But he was too busy being charmed by other women. There was Jake. He reminded her of Marv in a way. He seemed so innocent and so lovely, only interested in her for who she was. Even willing to defend her. She smiled as she thought about the way he had leaped to her defense when Cosmo had accosted her. Not many men had done that. But it was easy to fight someone like Cosmo. Her father was a different matter entirely.
And things had changed now. Jake knew the truth about her. Surely, he would not still be interested. It was no wonder Nick had not kissed her back. He probably thought she was a damaged freak. Maybe her father was right. She suffered from too many scars and nobody ever would find her attractive. Love just was something that she was going to have to learn to live without. Maybe she could find some kind of peace, though. Hopefully that wasn't too much to ask for.
Not wanting to return to the camp just yet, Tanya stayed in a secluded spot away from everyone else. She had opened the darkest parts of herself up to friends and strangers. She'd always wanted to talk about it, but not like that. Not with everyone judging her, ready to cast her aside, to push her away. And she still couldn't forget about the awful things her father had done to her. All she wanted in the world was for her memory to be wiped clean, so she could move forward with life and not be anchored with the weight of her past. Soon, tears began flowing down her cheeks. Her body shook, and her knees grew weak. She sat down on a nearby log. Holding her head in her hands she wept and felt the hot sting of tears roll down her cheeks.
Even though everyone knew about her past, none of them knew the horrors she had experienced. None of them ever would know what it was like to live in fear every day, never knowing when the next blow to their face would be. Always having to hide their bruises from the outside world. Even now, when she was so far from the city, she couldn't escape the gnawing fear that seemed to be attached to her like a leech. It sapped her strength and never allowed her to settle down.
“Tanya,” a male voice said. Tanya jumped a little. She hoped it was Nick, but when she raised her head she saw it was Jake. She turned away, wiping her eyes, even though he already had seen enough.
“What do you want?” she choked. Just another guy to reject her and tell her that she wasn't good enough.
“May I sit down?”
Tanya nodded. She wished she'd had longer hair so she could pull it around her face and hide herself away from the world. But her father had liked long hair, so she had slashed it off as soon as she could.
Jake sat beside her on the log. At first, he was quiet and left a few inches between them, but then he sidled up and put his arm around her.
“I'm sorry about what happened tonight. It wasn't fair to you to have things like that happen. I'm sorry for what you've been through as well. I just wanted to say, well, if you wanted to talk about anything more, I'm here to listen. I can't promise I can offer much in the way of good advice, but I guess sometimes it's just good to talk things out. If you want to.”
He squeezed her tightly and she enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms. Maybe it wasn't so bad to fall for him. Maybe she wasn't supposed to be with Nick anyway. Some other woman could have him. Jake could be all hers.
“You know, I had some problems too, before the crash. I can't say that they were the same as yours, but they played on my mind a lot. I actually had so much to worry about when the plane took off. I didn't know what was going to be waiting for me when we landed. I never imagined it would be this, though. The good thing about us, Tanya, is we don't let the past have a negative influence. Surviving that crash was like a baptism. We all felt renewed afterward. We've been given a new lease on life, and it changed everything. The only way to make it in this new world is to be reborn, to wash away the sins of the past and embark on a new path to the future.”
Tanya noticed how his tone had changed. He spoke with a reverence that reminded Tanya of how people spoke about religion. She'd never really been the religious type.
“I don't know about that,” she said softly, and smiled shyly.
He looked handsome the way he was so close. His kind eyes looked down upon her, and she was filled with a warm sense of well-being. Perhaps the best way was for her to move on, like Jake said. Maybe with him she finally had an opportunity to let the past fade into the distance.
But as she stared at him, something else caught her eye. She glanced behind him and saw there were a few other people standing there, all watching her.
“It's okay,” Jake said, smiling.
“What's going on?” Tanya asked. He seemed so nice. Where was Nick? Not until it was too late did she realize that something was amiss. The people all were staring at her in a strange way. So was Jake.
“You are in great pain, Tanya. It is something we all had in common. You were brave to share your story with us, but now it is time for you to join us. Have a better future with us. Be a better person,” Jake said in a monotone voice.
Tanya's breath caught in her throat as she looked around and saw so many faces staring at her. They weren't friendly like before, and she didn't like the way Jake had described things. She tried pulling herself away from his grasp, but his fingers tightened around her and she found herself unable to break free.
Just like when she had tried to run from her father.
She opened her mouth to call out for Nick, but before she could get out any sound Jake clamped his hand over her mouth. “It's going to be okay. Trust us,” he whispered.
Through his hand she asked him what was going on, and even though her words were muffled Jake could understand her, yet there was no reply. The others swarmed over her and soon the sky was blocked by their faces. Tanya's eyes were wide and her attempts to free herse
lf were in vain. She was too weak. Maybe this was a punishment for what she had told them. Maybe her father had been right, and she wasn't pure. Maybe this even would lead to her cleansing herself.
But it didn't feel like anything good. Not in the way that they were swarming around her. Not in the way they had taken her without her consent.
Chapter Eight
The river gurgled below. Nick was entranced by the swirling foam and the rampaging speed at which it went by, back into the direction of the city. Backdraft sat by his side, equally fixated on the river. There were some twigs and branches that had been caught in the current. Nick didn't envy them. They were being thrown about and were completely at the mercy of the water. Toward the edge of the bank the river was a little calmer, and this is where he had seen people bathing when he and the others first had arrived. He sighed. Time was just as merciless as this river. They all were swept up in the unforgiving rush, yet he did not know where it was going to take them.
Once again, he had hurt Tanya's feelings. She'd sprinted off into the darkness. For a moment he wondered if he should go after her, but he'd probably only mess up things even more. What she'd been through...Nick couldn't imagine how much she had been hurt through her young life. He wished he had been able to talk with her about it properly, but she needed more than him. She needed a therapist. He wondered if there was anyone in the camp who had those qualifications...
They all had heard her. Nick hoped Tanya wouldn't let it get to her and that she would be able to show her face. He definitely would have to have words with Cosmo, though. He should have seen this coming. Cosmo's paranoid nature was always going to get them in trouble. Would the people still even want them around after the display tonight? He certainly wouldn't blame them if they wanted to throw Cosmo out. He couldn't believe they'd do the same to Tanya, though, not after learning what she had been through.