An Ungoverned World Read online

  An Ungoverned World

  An Ungoverned World Book 2

  Kip Nelson

  Copyright © 2018 by Kip Nelson

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter One

  “You should feel lucky I even bother to look at you. You're an ugly bitch. You take after your mother, and she was a useless cow. I don't know why I even bother keeping you around. You don't even thank me. I give you a roof over your head. I give you food to eat. I make sure you have clothes on your back, and what do I get in return? Those dirty looks from those dirty eyes, and I know exactly what's going on in your mind. Oh yes, I know you want to kill me, but the thing is, Tanya, you're never going to have the guts. You're a coward. Without me you'd never survive in this world. Nobody else ever is going to put in the effort to love you, so from now on I want you to be a little bit more grateful about the way I treat you.”

  Tanya's thoughts turned to her father as she walked through the forest back to the camp. She wiped tears from her eyes and sniffed back the sadness. She was stupid. And foolish. Why did she ever think that someone like Nick would be interested in her? He probably saw how damaged she was. He could have any woman he wanted. Like Gillian. Gillian...with her red hair and smooth skin, and those eyes that sparkled. She was in control of her life. She actually had done something. She'd helped these people set up a camp and start a new way of life. What had Tanya actually done? All she'd done was run and lied and tried to hide.

  Stupid girl. Her father had been right. Despite everything she'd been through she had to accept that. Nick never would want anyone like her. Especially not with what happened at the farm. Tanya was tainted. She always would be, and forever she never would be able to forget about what came before. Her body shuddered with tears. She groaned. She dreaded looking Nick in the eyes again. How could she face him now after she'd shown herself to be such a silly little girl? She chastised herself for kissing him, and yet, in the moment, it had seemed the right thing to do. It had seemed natural to be close to him and to feel his warm lips against hers. For a moment, he had kissed back. It had been the most wonderful feeling in the world.

  Nick had told her it wasn't time for romance, but she didn't believe him. There was always time when two people liked each other. That was just human nature. Tanya didn't know a lot of things, but she knew that. If Nick had any inkling of affection for her, then he would have pursued it, but he probably just saw her as a silly girl. She thought there was a chance he might feel something more after he had been so grateful to her for reuniting him with Backdraft, but she had misinterpreted that.

  Maybe good men never would find her attractive. Maybe she always would be at the mercy of men like her father, and the farmer Jim. She shuddered as she thought about the way the farmer had looked at her. The way his murderous hands had grappled with her. The way his hungry eyes had stared at her. The way his hot breath and saliva had oozed against her skin. Tanya knew all the fear and panic that his own family must have been through...his own daughter. This new world made men crazy. No. That wasn't quite right. It didn't make men crazy, it just unlocked the monsters that already were inside them.

  Tanya wondered if there was a monster inside Nick, but she couldn't imagine there was.

  “Excuse me?”

  Tanya gasped and jumped a little, startled by the noise. She turned. Scared. Ready to run as swiftly as she could when she saw that it was one of the men from the camp. Jake? Jack? James? He introduced himself and Tanya realized she had been right the first time.

  “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you,” he said.

  “It's okay, I'm just a little jumpy,” Tanya smiled back.

  Her racing heart started to slow. He had kind eyes, and a nice smile. His beard wasn't as thick as that of some of the other men she saw, but she liked that. It was nice to meet someone around her own age since, so far, it seemed as though everyone was older than her.

  “Tanya,” she said. Without even offering her hand, Jake took it and shook it warmly.

  “I hope you don't mind me coming up to you like this. It's just that I haven't met anyone new in a while and, well, most people here are of an older generation. I miss talking to someone my own age.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine. Still, it's nice to have people around. I've been on my own most of the time.”

  “Oh really? I can't imagine what that must have been like,” he said as they started walking around the camp. All was quiet as a lot of people were asleep. Tanya looked back, but there was no sign of Nick.

  “I don't know what I would have done if I'd have been the only person to survive the crash. We were lucky that a lot of us did. We were able to help each other.”

  “Yes, it seems that way.”

  “You haven't been with those guys all the time then?”

  “No, only recently. It's a long story.”

  “It seems we have a lot of time,” Jake said, smiling.

  Tanya told him the story, leaving out certain parts of her past, as usual. Casually, she told him she was trying to make her way to Connecticut. He didn't even flinch. She was getting good at lying. While she spoke Jake's eyes widened, and at the end he exhaled deeply.

  “That's a hell of a lot to have happened. And I thought we had it bad. You must be really strong to go through all that,” he said. Tanya was glad it was dark for it hid the crimson blush on her cheeks.

  “I don't know about that. I just was running really. I don't feel strong. In fact, I've felt scared pretty much every moment since it happened. I'm not sure what life is like without fear.”

  “A lot of people think fear is a bad thing, but I'm not sure that's true. I think it helps you keep in mind what's around you and what you should do to survive. I've never been as scared as I was when that plane started going down. I'll never forget it. It wasn't like I imagined. Suddenly everything just went quiet. I looked around at everyone else. We all were thinking the same thing, wondering if it was normal. I never realized how much I'd miss the little noises.

  “The flight attendants were wrenching at the door to the cockpit because it had an electronic security lock. Then we noticed the plane nosediving. My stomach lurched, and I thought for sure I was going to die. I thought about all the things I'd never get to do again, but when the moment hit I was at peace. I don't know why. I don't know if that's how everyone feels, but that's how it went for me. My fear reminded me that I had to at least try enjoying my last moments. After that, well, things didn't really seem so scary. I think you'll be alright. Fear is just a state of mind, it's not a permanent condition.”

  Tanya wished that were true. She'd never be able to let go of her fear. It was as much a part of her as anything else. “Don't take this the wrong way, but I hope I never have to go through the same thing.”

  Jake laughed. He had a warm laugh. Tanya was starting to feel comfortable in his presence. “It actually gave me a new perspective on life. I think that's true for everyone. Still, the way
you tell it, it seems as though a lot of people in the world have had it rough out there.”

  “Yeah. Most people are just trying to survive. Aside from those men, yours is the first proper camp I've seen. Maybe there are others out there, but I didn't see any of them. Some people were trying to make it to the hospital. There were rumors that someone had set up a camp there, but I heard other people saying that it was a lie and there was nothing. Maybe somewhere someone is living the good life.”

  “I'm sure your parents are okay,” he offered, squeezing her arm lightly.

  She flinched a little at his touch for she had not been expecting it. She looked at him curiously for a moment as an image of her father flashed through her mind. Then she remembered he probably was thinking her parents were a nice old couple living in a suburb of Connecticut. It would have been a nice life. Raised by two people who adored her and wanted to give her the world. Tanya thought back to the parents who had given their children extra food instead of eating it themselves. She wished just for one moment she could experience that kind of love.

  “I guess. I just don't know if I'm ever going to see them again.” Tanya tried to sound as mournful as possible.

  “Nobody knows what's going to happen in the future. I'm sure you'll see them again. You seem stronger than you think you are. A lot of people who are in the same position as you would have fallen down and never been able to get back up, but you've kept on going. A lot of people could learn from you.”

  A warm feeling spread through Tanya's heart. There had been only rare occasions when people had spoken to her or looked at her in the way that Jake was looking at her now. She decided that she liked it, even though deep down a part of her whispered to her that he was lying, just like everyone else.

  Wincing, she pushed that voice deep down into the pit of her stomach. Buried it to try silencing it, but it still was there, burrowing away.

  “Thank you, but I don't know if that's true. I look around at all of you, and I don't know half the things you do. I don't even know how to make a fire.”

  “Oh, I can show you if you want, tomorrow, when the sun is up? Meet me back here,” he said.

  Tanya nodded and watched him as he walked away. Jake seemed nice, but she wasn't sure whether to trust him or not. And despite the way he had spoken and looked at her, he wasn't Nick. Her heart still yearned for that strong man.

  “What did you two talk about?” Cosmo said, emerging from a nearby thicket. Tanya gasped again. She glared at Cosmo.

  “Were you spying on me?!” she yelled.

  Cosmo looked angry. He walked up to her. His eyes darted all around the camp, never settling on one thing for more than a moment. He spoke in a low growl. “I don't trust these people. There's something fishy going on here, and I'm going to find out what it is. We must be careful. Don't trust anyone, and don't let yourself be alone with any of them. I'm going to find out what's going on. Do you want in? I could use some help. Nick doesn't believe me,” he spat, and looked betrayed.

  “No, thank you,” Tanya said, deciding that she would choose the same as Nick. Cosmo didn't seem to like that.

  “Fine,” he said bitterly, “but be careful. And when shit hits the fan, don't say I didn't warn you.”

  He stomped off, still muttering to himself. Tanya still wasn't sure what to make of him. Nick seemed to trust him enough to keep him around, so Tanya would bow to his judgment, but if it wasn't for Nick, Tanya would have stayed well clear of Cosmo.

  The following day she met with Jake and he took her to a clearing. They crouched down and the first lesson he gave her was how to make fire. Tanya smiled as she listened intently, although she soon became distracted when she saw Nick and Backdraft walking through the camp, women flocking around them both. Jealously burned within Tanya and she wished she could tell them all to stay away. Nick had told her he didn't have time for romance. Maybe he was a liar like all the others. No, not Nick. He couldn't be like that. He was a hero. He had saved her. Even Cosmo trusted Nick and, as far as Tanya could tell, Cosmo didn't trust anyone. She didn't think there was anything to his paranoia. This was a safe place, and the people were nice. They weren't like the farmer. They weren't like her father.

  She tried focusing on Jake, but it was difficult. Her father never had taught her anything like this, so her hands were clumsy. Eventually though, she succeeded, and Jake gave her a high five. As the day went on and he taught her other lessons, she grew more comfortable with him. He showed her how to whittle wood into a weapon, and how to find the right kind of stones to be used as tools. He was a resourceful man, although when she complimented him with this he brushed it off and just said that he had learned from others in the camp. They walked around the outskirts of the camp and he showed her what type of berries were safe to eat, and then they went to the river where he showed her how to boil water. These lessons only showed Tanya that there still were plenty of things for her to learn.

  As much as it was a miracle that these people had survived the plane crash, it was also a miracle that she had survived this world so far. Her father had not provided her with any real lessons. Well, apart from one. Living with him had forged her soul into a determined chunk of ice, one that was not easily defeated. Tanya always had seen herself as weak, and yet, with Jake's kind words, she was starting to see herself as something different. Perhaps she really was stronger than she had felt. Perhaps she was made for this new world and she could move forward. Yet, at the same time, part of her always was casting an inquiring glance at the surrounding area, hoping to see Nick. She wanted him to see her with Jake and for him to feel the same kind of jealousy that she felt.

  Chapter Two

  The sun was shining brightly in the sky. It felt like a new dawn. Nick enjoyed the warm tingling on his skin. They were a world away from the city, and it was good to be so far from the source of all his sorrow and frustration. The sky was blue, Backdraft was by his side, and he was in the company of friendly people. The storm had cleansed the world, washed it clean, and he hoped it could be a new beginning for them all.

  It was hard, of course, not to think about John and Mikey, or all the people in the city who must have been suffering at the hands of those men, but there was nothing Nick could do about that now. For so long revenge had burned in his blood and all he wanted was to get his hands on those men and show them how they never should have messed with him or John...or Backdraft. Yet he couldn't go back to the city now. Maybe one day he would, just to teach them a lesson, but there was no sense in getting any of them killed. Especially not Tanya.

  Nick wished things had gone differently the previous night. Maybe he could have handled it better, but it would have been much easier if she never had kissed him. There was just no room in his heart for romance right now. Survival was the priority. Then again, it always had been. Even with Sam, things hadn't been easy. He had been married to his career and the city. She'd wanted him to move to New York with her, but he'd said no. Things would have been so different. Maybe John still would have been alive...Mikey, too.

  No.

  That was a dangerous path. He couldn't think like that. He had to remember his training. He was the one who had to keep his head about him and keep himself focused. He was the one with the survival training and the one who knew how to act under pressure. Cosmo was cracking, seeing a conspiracy everywhere he looked, Tanya was a victim. Nick had to be the strong one. He knew if he showed affection toward Tanya, it only would cause greater problems down the line. There was something about her, though...the more he thought about her the more the kiss lingered on his lips. The rush of breath that had escaped her mouth burned against him.

  Maybe he was just frustrated. He'd been through a lot, and a little companionship would go a long way. Tanya was pretty, there was no doubting that. It was easier in the long run to let her be free. She was young. She didn't need to be with someone so scarred like Nick. All he needed was Backdraft. He bent down and rubbed the glossy black coat of the Labrador. Ba
ckdraft fell onto his back and rolled around the ground. That was all Nick needed, in the end. As long as he and Backdraft were together, nothing else mattered.

  It was strange, he thought, how important Cosmo and Tanya had become to him. He wanted them to be safe and to protect them. He'd always thought himself to be a lone wolf. He'd been independent from a young age. He'd had to be, with an absent father and a mom who was either busy working to pay the bills, or spending her time at dive bars trying to forget the pain and misery of her loneliness. The only true family Nick ever had known had been the fire department. Maybe he was missing them more than he realized.

  He gazed in the vague direction of the city. Not that he could see the city through the thick stand of trees. It was almost as though he was in another world. With the way things had gone, the world had become a fractured thing, with people isolated from each other. He thought about his firefighter brothers and wondered how they were faring in this brave new world. Had any of them made it to the station after he and John? Was anyone in the city controlling anything, or had it all descended into chaos? They were questions Nick wasn't sure he ever would get the answers to, and there were few things he hated more than an unsolved mystery. He could say a lot of things about Sam, but at least she hadn't left him in the dark about why she broke up with him.

  Conflicting thoughts ran through his mind. He looked around at these people and saw hope, saw the chance for a better and brighter way to live. So far in this new world his days had been cloaked with darkness. Revenge and bitterness had dripped down, sinking into every pore. That grime was being washed away by the sunshine and the friendly feeling these people engendered, though.